Melissa Avrin lost her five year battle with bulimia on May 6, 2009. Her mother, Judy Avrin, has since become a crusader - her mission is to expose the incidence and insidiousness of Eating Disorders with the intent of preventing further suffering so that Melissa's death was not in vain.
I spoke to Judy just hours after Melissa died. I couldn't even imagine the pain and grief she was feeling, but she was able to keep her calm and even asked me if I was okay. Just like Judy to think about someone else in that moment. I attended Melissa's funeral two days later and was overwhelmed by the outpouring of support by family, friends, and community.
A week or two after the funeral, Judy called me to ask if she could come to my office to chat with me about Melissa. "Absolutely," I said, hoping that I could help, at least in some small way, to ease her grief. I had been Melissa's therapist for a while but hadn't seen Melissa for almost two years before her death as she explored different kinds of treatments in search of one that would finally help free her from ED's strong hold.
Judy arrived at my office to talk and brought with her Melissa's most recent journal. I was blown away by how poignant her writings were and how the themes of darkness, and loss and hope were all mixed together. I got a much greater peek that day into Melissa's soul than she ever let me when we worked together in therapy. She was quite an amazing writer - a talent I really never knew she had.
Judy and I sat for a while as we each read the journal. When I reached her poem entitled "Someday" I paused.....
Someday....
I'll eat breakfast
I'll keep a job for more than 3 weeks
I'll have a boyfriend for more than 10 days
I'll love someone
I'll travel wherever I want
I'll make my family proud
I'll make a movie that will change lives
"Judy," I said, "I think you have a documentary here. Melissa's writings are so real and honest and painful - a real look into her inner struggle - but they also speak of hope. I think you need to share them." Judy didn't say much then but I could see she was thinking. We cried together as Judy talked a little more about Melissa and then she left.
Shortly after that Judy called me and said "I want to do it. Melissa wanted to make a movie that will change lives. It's the perfect way to honor her."
And so Someday Melissa was born.....
With Judy as Executive Producer, me as Producer and Jeff Cobelli as Director, we have, as yet, shot over 50 hours of footage. Our intention is a full length documentary aimed at increasing awareness of Eating Disorders, with Melissa's painful struggle as the catalyst. The feedback we have gotten so far from the film's trailer and from the website - www.somedaymelissa.com - has been tremendous.
I speak to Judy frequently and have watched her channel her grief into this cause. She inspires me daily with her motivation to carry on and get the message out. I know she misses Melissa's more than words can say here - but she keeps her focus and thinks endlessly about all the other young women and men who are currently struggling with Eating Disorders and uses the possibility of helping them as her strength.
